Social outings

Some things in the daily life here in China remind me how much more social the culture here is, as opposed to the more individualistic approach to life in the West. In Europe, we take it for granted that we take care of our personal affairs ourselves, while in China they can often be turned into social occasions.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the hairdresser's here in town. I had to stay for quite a while, which gave me the chance to watch the people coming and going. Many of the customers were women, and some of them also had to stay a long time while having their hair curled or straightened. But what stroke me as different was that none of them were alone. Some had husbands of boyfriends with them, while some others were accompanied by a girlfriend or two. The husbands went out and brought lunch, and the friends at by, talking of this and that.

All the while I was perfectly content sitting with a school book I had brought with me. Members of the staff kept coming to talk to me every now and then, until finally one of them asked: "Haven't you got any friends here in Beibei? How come none of them came with you?" Later, after I answered a friend's phonecall, an assistant asked me hopefully: "Is your friend coming over?"

The same goes for doctor's appointments. Doctors in Chinese hospitals do not see their patients in private, but a doctor's room has open doors for anyone to walk in or out as they wish. This means that usually at any time, as you are talking to a doctor yourself, you are surrounded by an assortment of other patients, as well as their friends and family.

Recently, I have been accompanying a friend to the dentist a few times. Every time, we see whole families turning up for the fathers tooth problem, or couples coming together. Here, too, the treatment happens in public. The room has two dentist's chairs in it, and thus two doctors working side by side. In the meanwhile, the waiting patients and their families are hovering near the doctors, hoping to get their turn or just to keep an eye on where the queue is going.

Although this all seems a little strange, it's also nice and comforting. The Chinese society is very family and community centred, and although sometimes the lack of privacy can feel annoying, at the same time, you are not left alone to face boredom or difficulty on your own.

So, next time you want a nice day out with your friends, why not get a haircut or have a tooth pulled out? That's what we do here in China :)