Wedding Belle

The way the young, urban Chinese views getting married is quite different from the Western ideas or those of older generations or people in rural areas here in China. I saw a good example of this earlier this week, as one of my Chinese colleagues did not come to work one morning. We we wondering where she was, and got our answer a she walked in a couple of hours later, with a big bag of sweets in her hand. "Wedding candy for everyone", she said, "I just got married!"

As we were munching on our sweets, traditionally handed out by the newlyweds, she told us of how it all had happened. They had been planning marriage for some time now, and the night before they were talking about it and decided it was time to go for it. So why not just do it the next morning? All you need is your ID card, with which you walk into the Marriage Office (right next door to the Divorce Office...), sign a paper, and ta-dam, it's done. Then, like my colleague, you can get back to the usual schedule, go to work and get on with it.

So possibly, the conversation went something like this:

"Ummm...got any plans for tomorrow morning, dear?"
"No nothing special. Why, do have something in mind?"
"Yeah well, I thought we could go and get married. You know, I could use a morning going to work late. I've got this really annoying client that keep calling me every bloody morning."
"Yeah I guess so... I was supposed to go running with Xiao Zhu but he tells me his got a cold so I suppose I'll be free. Nothing else to do really, so yeah why not."

But of course the truth is, they will have a proper celebration, too, at some point next year possibly. It's just that the actual legal act of registering the marriage and the wedding itself can be a long time apart, even a year or two. My colleague said they will have one when they have more money, there are no exact plans when.

The simplicity and the laid-back attitude of it all is beautiful somehow. Compared to how stressful the planning of weddings has now become in the West, how people start organising it more than a year in advance, sweating over the smallest details and who will be seated next to whom. At least judging from the internet forums dedicated to the issue, weddings seem to be causing massive nervous breakdowns instead of just being a happy celebration.

I kind of wish I could just decide to waltz into an office one of these mornings, sign a paper, and be done with it.

After all, if it doesn't work out, it's just as simple to pay a visit to the Divorce Office next door.