Face and money

The day before yesterday I had a little bit of a face-loosing moment at home with the dad of the family. I had asked Yin Jia about how much I should pay them every month for staying there and she told me her mum had suggested 600 yuan (60 euro), which i thought was great, seeing that it includes absolutely everything, not least the great food every day :) And being able to live with the family, which i'm truly enjoying.

So, as the mum is away for a week (she works at the tax department and is working on some confidential documents, so she is away in the countryside with her colleagues, in an isolated environment...funny that), I took the money to the dad as he was watching TV in the living room. And as soon as he saw the money, his face went all funny and he got very, very embarrassed. I explained that it was the sum the mum had suggested and that I thought it was very little, that i was a little embarrassed to be giving so little for all they are giving me. (As they have already given me much more than a 600 yuan worth, they've even given me money and bought all kinds of things...). But he was there with tears in his eyes, saying how embarrassing it was to accept money from me, how he thought i was a guest and how he had told his wife that they should not ask me for any money. So there we were, with the stack of notes on the table, both embarrassed. But I tried to explain how i'd feel bad not paying, how i'd pay a lot more if i lived on my own like other students, and how lucky i felt being able to live there. So, in the end, he started getting all kinds of food and snacks and piling it in front of me, saying that I have to make sure that i eat everything i find in the house, that i feel free to use everything they have, to completely be at home. So there I was, eating peanuts with him, hoping it would be ok.

And it is :)

As for the family, the grandfather is not too well, nothing serious but he hasn't been eating well, stomach problems and such, so he is now in the hospital for a few days, getting some extra care. And someone from the big family is there with him all the time, which is nice.

And the grandmother that lives in the house, as i have found out, is actually the younger sister of the father's mother. As she has been deaf almost all her life, as a result of an illness she had when she was three, her sister took her with her when she moved to Kunming from the village in Jiangsu province.

It's great seeing the way they treat the old people. Someone is always taking care of them, someone will give the grandpa a massage every night while he is wathing TV for example.

And another thing that is great, and different from what i have seen in other Chinese families, is how the housework is divided equally among the parents. The dad is cleaning and cooking as much or maybe even more than the mum.

This for now, more about my new home city soon :)